God is righteous in strength. I desperately need His strength. This valley I have been called to walk in is HUGE. I know God knows my every emotion. I ask God "Why?" I have discovered you can question God. If God can't handle my questions, then He is NOT God. God asssures me that He has my family in His hands. Psalm 34:17-19 "The righteous cry and the Lord hears and delivers them out of all their troubles. The Lord is near for the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. Many are the afflictions of the righteous but the Lord delivers them out of them all." It is ok to question God, but I am learning something else about spiritual warfare. God and satan will try to use the same event in a person's life, one for good, one for evil. Both want to be glorified. My response determines which receives the glory. God is righteous, He will give me strength. It's hard for me to believe that some people go through life's trials without God, how do they do it? Even in the midst of this raging storm I am in, He is faithful, He is just, He is my strength, my hope, my peace. I trust Him, I rely on His supernatural strenght. Psalm 23:1 " The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not want." Because the Lord is who He is, my Shepherd, He supplies every need I have, even before I know that need. He meets my spiritual needs, at times I feel as though I am all alone, but when I grow still and quiet in the valley, I can hear His footsteps. It's His presence that guides and strengthens my spiritual life. I have His word and through my prayers He lifts me from my despair and places me on solid ground again and again. He meets my physical needs, when I ask for peace He gives me peace and rest. He is the great physicain. He meets my physical needs, so many times since the accident, I have wanted my mother to be here on this earth, how selfish of me to want her to leave her heavenly home to come back to this place. But I have wanted her here, so I could crawl into her lap and have her to put her arms around me and hold me, comfort me. I know that is physically impossible, but emotionally I needed it. But when I ask for comfort to come, my Heavenly Father picks me up and does just that, He wraps His everlasting arms around me and comforts me. He meets my every need. I know that God knows that I am going through a time of trial, despair and discoragement. The storm I am in at times seems too powerful and one I am afraid, I cannot overcome, but I know He is real and righteous, and relevant, and He meets my needs and I turn to Him and I trust Him to be who He is, the faithful Creator who will NOT allow destruction to come to me, but will make me an overcomer. On this journey of faith He has taught me how to trust Him. With every new day, I need assurance of His presence, He is more than ready to supply me with evidence that He is at work in my life. I know I can NOT go through this on my own, I need Him, every hour, I need Him! I also know I have tremendous christian friends and family that are standing in the gap for me and my family. I have so many people praying for my family, people that more than likely, I will never know this side of heaven, but when we get to heaven, I will know them and they will know me. That's exciting! I have a vision of my mother and daddy walking all over heaven letting every one know that Brayden, Kenadi, and Logan and the little babies of Hannah and Jeremy's that never made it to be born on earth are their grand children. Heaven holds many treasures for me! I know God will restore my family, he promised! I know His time is NOT my time! Lord, I need help on that one! I know He loves me! I know He wants what's best for me! I know that all things work for the good of those that love Him. Yes, Lord, I will praise you in this storm! Yes, Lord, I love you!

Finding peace in times of sorrow

I have a living hope...God brought His Son through the most painful trials and back from the pit of death itself, I know He can bring me through this trial. I know that my trial is not the end of the story...it's the rough journey that leads me to the right destination. I know the world views this trial as a senseless tragedy, that I should be bitter, I have seen God reveal Himself to me every day and He pours out a full measure of grace and peace every day. Yes, I was called upon to go through this suffering so God can be glorified. Do I understand that? NO, Do I rejoice in that truth? NO, Do I accept that truth? YES. While all of this may not make sense, I am reminded that when I can't trace God's hand, I can trust His heart.




When all you have left to do is pray...you pray!



Lord, You're with me right now, You have been, You have your reasons for what is happening. You care too much for me to let this get out of hand. Take charge. Give me grace to stay calm. Control my emotions. Be Lord over my present situation. Lord, You know there is no way that I can set the record straight, it seems to be getting more out of control and complicated and I find myself relying on You...at Your mercy. Take over Lord, You be the Master over this moment, I can't change this person, I can't alter these circumstances. I know someday You will make clear the "why" this happen, I know Your ways are higher and far more profound than my mind can comprehend. I accept Your direction and I will live with it the best I can. I know You know the pain and heartache I am going through, some days it is almost unbearable, but You are soverign and You can handle my needs, with Your strength I can carry this burden. Quiet my spirit. Give me a sense of relief as I face the fact that life is difficult and unfair. Keep me from having any bitterness. Enable me to see beyond the present, to focus on the invisible, and to recognize that You are always here with me. Thank You for the joy of today. Thank You for the relationship I have with You. Thank You for the love and care of my friends and family. Thank you for every tear drop, You bring joy. Thank You for the truth of Your word that lives and abides forever.