Today is Friday the 13th, could that be why I'm having such a hard time today? I have a headache today and a cough, but to sum it up I feel really yucky today. I have laid in bed all day tossing and turning. I have cried until I have no more tears left in me right now. I have prayed and read scripture, I don't want to be in this slump, but I can't seem to pull myself out of it. I have thought so much about Brayden and Kenadi today, I have thought about Meredith, Gregg, and our soon to arrive Kaidi. The loss of Brayden and Kenadi is as fresh today as it was July 29/30. As the days have turned into weeks, weeks into months, each day for me is filled with sad tears, my heart is broken, the pain still remains. Others can't understand and don't feel the same, how could they, Brayden and Kenadi are MY grand babies. People ask the simple question, "how are you today?" I'm fine is the answer, What else can I say, They don't really want to know, Life is so empty, My family is torn apart, I have a hole in my heart that is dying to say that the loss of Brayden and Kenadi is more that what you can see, I not only loss my two grandchildren, but a HUGE part of me. Sure, I have lots of sweet memories, memories that will carry me through the years, but I want Brayden and Kenadi back in my arms to hold, to love, to sing to, to rock. But you see that will never be, they are forever gone from my arms, but never from my heart. I love you Brayden and Kenadi.